Books for Kids About First Crushes
How do you talk to kids about their first crush? For many parents, this conversation can be as awkward and confusing for us as it is for our kids. Navigating these new feelings, crushes, and relationships can be a challenge. That’s why finding the right first crush books for kids can be an essential tool for starting a healthy dialogue.
Like many families in the 80s and 90s, mine never discussed the inner workings of relationships—not when my parents were married, or when they separated. When boys started chasing me on the kindergarten playground and I complained about not liking it to my parents, I was told that chasing me means they have a crush on me. I learned I should appreciate unwanted attention because, hey, at least someone thought my outward appearance had value. Now I’m raising two boys, and I want to ensure they learn from the start that consent is essential and girls’ purpose on this planet isn’t exclusively for their pleasure, and vice versa.
Given my experience, I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when the word “crush” entered our family vernacular when my son entered kindergarten last year. Somehow, it still caught me off guard, but I immediately knew it was time to talk about it. I clumsily fumbled with an attempt at an open conversation on a car ride, “do you know what crushes are?,” “have you ever had a crush?,” “does anyone have a crush on you?,” “is there anything you want to ask me about crushes?”. “Nope,” “no,” “I don’t know,” “no thanks.”
I didn’t know how to enter into dialogue about this the way we had so many other tough topics. So, I began my quest to find a book that would open the door.
I should note that it’s nearly impossible to find books on this subject—I uncovered a handful about Valentine’s Day (a number of those that played out the same theme from my 1990s playground days) and a couple of well-written ones that tackled themes of belonging for LGBTQ+ relationships (which we read and loved, and which you can find more of on our list of Pride Month Books for Kids).
Maria’s Blooming Crush: The Story That Opened the Door by Nicole H. Medina
But it wasn’t until the self-published Maria’s Blooming Crush by Nicole H. Medina crossed our doorstep that it opened the floodgates.
Not only did my son ask to read it a few times in a row, but after reading and discussing it together, I became his closest confidant on all things relating to crushes—who has them on who at school, who he’d marry if he were to get married today (slow down, buddy, you’ve got a couple decades), and all the questions he has about them.
A Giant Crush: A Vulnerable and Sweet Look at First Feelings by Gennifer Choldenko
Another I really enjoyed was A Giant Crush by Gennifer Choldenko. This book explored the emotions and vulnerability of first crushes, the niavely cruel way kids sometimes treat one another when they notice a crush, and the sweetness of first crushes being reciprocal, all in a kid-friendly entertaining package.
These books opened a door for a conversation we were struggling to enter into, and now that that door is opened, we have room for topics I never got to discover through any means other than life’s live trials and errors. And I hope this helps show the boys that nothing in our house is taboo to talk about.
I wish this was a longer list like my other round ups, but I found very few books for an age demo younger than pre-teen. Many of those that do exist are aimed specifically toward Valentine’s Day, and many of those had narratives I hope my boys won’t replicate, such as teasing and tricking girls who have a crush on you. I hope there are more books in this space than I have discovered so far - please share any others with me I should be picking up! Do you know of any other great books on this topic? Let us know in the Instagram comments!
The crush conversation is just the beginning.
Navigating your child’s emotional life can feel like a new adventure every day. You've now found the perfect tools for the first-crush talk, but what about the next big feeling? For more guidance on helping your kids understand and manage their emotions, check out our post on How to Build Emotional Intelligence in Children.