The Books That Have Shaped Me as a Mother
The books that have helped me become a better parent aren’t parenting books.
I love Dr. Becky and Janet Lansbury as much as the next Millennial mom. But parenting books aren’t the books that have helped me most when it comes to who I am as a parent.
And that’s because becoming a parent cracked open all the unexamined parts of myself. These books have helped me piece myself together in a whole new form, augmented my course, expanded my life force, and helped me define my purpose on this planet. They’ve also provided the framework for the lessons I’ve prioritized passing along to my children.
The Untethered Soul taught me that feelings are energy patterns that need to flow freely through us rather than being resisted, suppressed, or clung to.
The Surrender Experiment - in the midst of selling my business to a publicly traded company, something pulled me to this book which I didn’t learn until halfway through was about his experience around the time of selling his business to a publicly traded company. Kismet! This book gave me new tools for inner peace and calm found from moving with the flow of the universe rather than holding onto expectations that result in you energetically fighting against it.
The Body Keeps Score taught me that motherhood is both a trigger and a doorway. Our bodies remember what our minds forget and this book was an invitation to examine what came up in my postpartum existence to heal myself and the generational trauma that I was taking on the not-so-simple task of not passing along to my kids.
Falling Upward taught me that the spiritual path of motherhood isn’t about control or image - it’s about surrendering, loving radically, and embracing mystery.
The Artist’s Way changed so many of my daily practices (morning pages have been a 3+ year daily ritual), but I benefited most from the invitation back to my creative self. I stopped setting up arts and crafts for my children and being the observer, and started setting up stations for my own inner creative child to play right alongside them.
Becoming Supernatural - Dr. Joe and I have been on a journey together through his books, courses, and daily meditations, and I can say confidently that no one has impacted my life and growth more. This book is a great introduction to his work and gave me a pathway for understanding that I am not defined by my past and tools for healing my nervous system to allow my energy to positively impact my children.
Loving What Is taught me that pain and suffering don’t come from what’s happening in life but from my thoughts about it. She gave me a roadmap for examining my thoughts so I can explore alternate versions of reality that lead to inner freedom.
Becoming - I remember so clearly the morning I was on the treadmill at the gym way before sunrise, listening to this book on Audible and realizing that at my kids’ ages, Michelle and Barack hadn’t even had a whisper of their future political careers yet. At a time when I felt like my career was in danger of shrinking because I had a family that had started taking up such a big part of my day, Michelle gave me the confidence to believe that all the very best parts of life, both personally and professionally, still lie ahead.
Bird by Bird - I am a writer. Always have been, always will be. I’ve told stories at Elle Communications about people changing the world for the better for the past 17 years, and someday in the not-too-distant future, I’ll have news to share about some books I’ve been writing in my “free time.” I’ve read just about everything Anne has ever written, and her honesty always permits me to own my imperfect self. In this book, she gave me the discipline to work my creative pursuits into my overflowing life.
The Tools - I read this book on my 40th birthday in Costa Rica, and it was a life-changing invitation into tools I could implement to tackle the things I’d been wrestling with most to varying degrees of success (or not) in years of therapy. 10/10 recommend bingeing on every book he’s written and podcast episode he’s recorded. I am currently slowly burning through and soaking up his latest with Elise Loehnen, and at one point had to pause to listen to no short of five podcast interviews to ensure I was comprehending his words and wisdom enough to integrate them.
This Here Flesh is arguably the most beautifully honest book on the planet, and Cole Arthur Riley is an international treasure. She shows us how storytelling is healing, how to hold space for grief and joy, and that our inner lives are holy ground brimming with opportunity for spirituality and faith.